Unsaid Thoughts, Unknown Feelings
by Kaji Bakudan
Summary: Quatre and Trowa get back from a mission in heavy rain... how will this effect them? Heero and Duo never stop workin on their gundums... that could be a problem.1x23x4


Disclaimer: I don't own(or want to) the Gundam boys, though I soo wish I could live on as a 6th pilot and at least _see_ if they are gay, Haha!

Jousho: You perv...

Kaji Bakudan: SHH!

laughter 

A Note for those who've seen the Trowa Tragedy with Quatre with Zero System! This is after that happened, which is why Trowa is so emotional! Besides, I could make him a Duo if I wanted to, but that wouldn't be fun ;P

Unsaid Feelings, Unknown Thoughts

Chapter 1: The loneliness I've come to notice

It was cold and harsh for a summer night, the rain bombing the small house that two very soaked figures had began to walk into, closing the door while reducing the noise. Trowa Barton, the Heavyarms Gundam Pilot, and Quatre Raberba Winner, the Sandrock Gundam Pilot, walk into the house while returning from their mission... a long mission. They were both soaking from the piercing cold rain that they had to walk through for the passed hour or so, and, unfortunately, there was only one bathroom in their small house.

"You take it." said the shiver-less voice of the taller pilot with a slightly dark brownish hair that falls spread over his face, unlike how it usually is in one large mass of bangs that covers one eye. He shared the same thoughts with the younger pilot, showing no emotion to reside in his eyes - just a blank expression.

"But Trowa, you're soaking..." the younger pilot, who had soaking blond hair that wasn't nearly as the taller of the two's, showing his aquamarine eyes that always carried some kind of emotion, was cut off from his statement.

"It's nothing to worry about it. I've been cold before. Take a bath." The taller pilot won the argument as Quatre silently nods and walks to the bathroom, already giving into his feelings wanting the bath first. "I'll be fine" adds Trowa, ensuring Quatre that he needn't worry, who was closing the door that leads through the room they shared into the bathroom.

Now, with Quatre out of the room, Trowa sits down on the floor, so he doesn't make the couch wet, in front of a laptop that sits on the table. He opens the cover of the laptop and immediately connects to their Mission Log, as he begins to type out the report for the mission they had just completed.

A small breeze begins to flow through the room of the small building as if the doors and windows were open. The wind easily slipped through the many cracks of the old house, but prevented leakage, which was sorta've rare for the year it was made in. However, after being completely soaked by the heavy rains that remained outside just moments ago, the wind was enough to sink through the tight forest green turtleneck and likewise white pants, sending a piercing chill through the clothes that protect his body from such occasions. The wind chills the water-stained clothes, freezing the warmth of the tall pilot even more. He was the only heat in the room. The candle didn't count, either, and the sharpness of the cold was penetrating his skin like scissors cut through paper. He immediately goes into a heavy shiver while trying to prevent the searing pain of the cold that wants to hurt him so. Not even the wind, however, could change the careless expression in his eyes into that of fear. It took a great deal if _that_ was to effect him.

At that moment, he noticed how lonely it felt to have nothing... nobody... absolutely _nothing_ to help him clear his coldness that surrounds his body with the heat that covers the planet... absolutely nothing to help him understand that he has been stupid all along to not notice how lonely _earlier_. It makes him feel so lonely to just be noticing it _now_ where he is too late to make his own choices...

At the moment the water was heard going down the drain, Trowa Barton immediately stands up and walks slowly for the door leading to both it and their room, stopping in front of it as a short Quatre walks through, dressed in his pajamas, looking calmly to Trowa as he smiles towards him, not seeing him already slipped by and closing the door to the bathroom, which, after a moment, the water was turned on once again as the bathtub was being filled. The tension that used to be in the air was slowly beginning to release itself in a calm way.

A small splash was made as Trowa steps into the bathtub, letting the warm water surround his body.

A sigh escapes the taller pilots' lips as he closes his eyes and sinks his chin into the water, then down to his mouth, breathing calmly through his nose.

While in this relaxed state, he finally realizes _I cannot go on living like this... Running from Oz to avoid capture and the failure of my mission... living in a small, unregistered house to do so... Quatre and myself could go live in one of his families mansions together... Wait.. what was I thinking about 'togetherness' of Quatre and I for? He's my best friend that I do trust, but to live together would be like a couple would say it... I am a loner, regardless... that's how I was raised as; to fight alone, to be alone, and not to accept hospitality of those who could end all of my struggles in life and give me all I wanted... _ Trowa's eyes opened in a small state of shock... what was he thinking... he felt so... different thinking about life _together_ with Quatre... what exactly was their relationship.

"Trowa?" a faint sound calls and unlocks him from his thoughts.

"Hai?" he calls back to Quatre.

"Where did you put your clothes? I figured I'd shove them in the wash along with mine since I was about to start it." The voice replied.

_That's right... I never took them off in the room like I usually do..._ "Oh, they're in here. The door's unlocked." He calls back, breathing out in a small bit of happiness that he can enjoy just in times like these.

The door opens and the taller pilot watches the shorter walk in with the eye with his hair covering, looking at his face as he walks in, smiling as he usually does even through the fog that he had created with the hot water. "Ahh, I found them." "Quatre..." "hm?" "Thanks." The shorter boy looks confusingly at Trowa and then smiles. _I guess he's beginning to trust me a little more with his feelings... _Quatre thinks. "Sure thing, Trowa." With that, the boy walks out of the bathroom, closing the door, freezing for a moment to look at Trowa once again and remember the thanks that he had received from him before closing the door. Afterwards, the room began to steam up again to the point where nearly nothing could be seen withing an arms length of touching. Trowa remains in the comfort of the bath for about ten more minutes before he stands up and pulls the drain cord out while he mentally searches for his towel and reaches out and picks it up, wiping down his body as he wraps it around his waist and opens the door to their room as he searches for something to wear to bed.

"Trowa..." Quatre comes up from behind and puts his hand on his shoulder. "If you need anything, I'm always here for you" he says with a smile. As Quatre takes his hand off of Trowa's shoulder, a simple nod comes from the silent man as he finishes pulling up his pants. Within the moment, both boys were laying there under the warm covers of their large bed, very close to sleep.

At around midnight, so one of the boys examined in the shadowy room, awake in his bed, a shifting was heard in one of the beds... Trowa's. He was really all too tired - it was just to go along with their routine of bedtimes and such to be ready for anything the next day. Looking to his right, Trowa notices Quatre, sleeping in a ball as he dreamed happily. He just watched the smaller boy who seemed so much happier than himself... he looked almost 'cute' to Trowa... _I did not... just think that Quatre was... was cute... what could this mean, Catherine, Sister?_ Within a couple of minutes, almost by instinct, those aquamarine eyes opened and gazed directly into Trowa's forest green ones for what seemed to be minutes before the taller pilot turned.

"T-trowa?" Quatre says sleepily. "What are you doing awake?"

"I couldn't sleep..." he replies.

"Is something wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" Quatre asks.

"It's nothing... I was just thinking about the mission." Trowa responds, once again.

"That's not like you... but I think I understand." Quatre says knowing nothing.

Trowa immediately blushes as he looks to the ceiling... His blush could be seen through the moonlight.

"Trowa... What's getting into you... You're my best friend and you've been acting strange tonight..." the shorter boy asks with a concerned tone.

_He's... sad...? _"Why does it matter, Quatre? I'm not worth caring for like you already care for me." _ What am I saying... That will only worry him more..._

"Trowa... What are you thinking... You are my best friend... I almost lost you to the Zero System... Do you know how much you mean to me? I cried so hard that night... When you self detonated... If anything at all, you deserve more..." He begins to cry halfway through his statement and felt the warmth of Trowa's body, embracing him in a hug.

_I've made him cry... and now I'm hugging him... I've only hugged Catherine in my life... and she's my sister... It took me forever to even do that... why am I hugging Quatre... all of the sudden, why do I comfort him so..._

Quatre begins to lighten up a little as he hugs Trowa back. The both of them drowsily falling asleep in the embracement. Perhaps it was the warmth that both of their bodies produced that did it.

The next morning, Trowa wakes up to Quatre, smiling up to him. Still embraced in that same hug. _What have I been doing!? Why is he smiling so innocently towards me? What the hell is wrong with me..._

"Mornin', Trowa" Quatre says, making Trowa snap out of his thought cycle.

"Mm." he replies as he begins to make a move towards the side of the bed. But a little tug keeps him there.

"We can stay this way a little longer, can't we? It's cold if we separate..." the little one asks with those oh so sweet, innocent eyes.

It truly was cold this new morning... It _did_ just rain...

"... Mm.." a simple reply is heard in just a whisper as he gets into the hug once again as the both of them close their eyes, as Trowa secretly watches Quatre before he, himself, goes back to sleep.

_"Quatre... what do you think about our relationship? Is it too much for two boys in a war like us?"_

_"Trowa, when have you ever had thoughts like friendship? Nobody would've thought that a silent know-it-all nobody like you would have ever thought about it."_

_"What are you talking about Quatre... Why do you say such cold things... Why...?" by now, tears were streaming down Trowa's face._

_"Because, you aren't a lover-boy. You're just some kid who has been trained for most of the life that you can remember anything to kill, kill, and kill. You are supposed to be heartless, or you are just another failure."_

"tr..."

"_trowa..."_

"Trowa!"

Trowa finally awakens to Quatre's concerned eyes as he hugs the boy tightly, having tears running down his face.

"Trowa... it was just a nightmare, don't let it get to you..."_ is it his first, or have the other ones just not haunted him?_

"Quatre... don't let me lose you... like many others have lost their friends, lovers, and family to me in our current war... don't leave me alone..." the taller pilot seems to whisper out of his trembling lips as he looks to his chest, scared of losing everything that is close to him... scared of losing Quatre.

"Don't worry... I'll always be here for you... I will never leave you..." the smaller boy assures as he hugs Trowa, making him look up from his chest and look away for a moment to the wall. Quatre has always hated seeing him like this every once and a while after the amnesia that was caused by his(Quatre's) own selfish actions, even if he was under the influence of the Zero System... Quatre was willing to do _anything_ for Trowa to make sure that moments like those will not be so painful.

"Trowa... let's take the day off for once..." the small pilot says as he receives a nod into his skin by the taller pilot. Quatre's bare skin on his chest was warm and calming, it allowed Trowa to sleep with ease, and the warmth of Trowa's faintly-touching body also helped Quatre go back to sleep, oh so early in the morning.

Pleassseee R&R!!! Tell me if I should bother to continue! Of coarse, I'll cry if you say no, but oh well! I'm going to improve my skills. I'm also aiming to make this a pretty long story, dunno how many chapters yet, but I'll add a 1x2 in here later too! (for all those who wonder what 1x2 and 2x1 and 4x2x1x3x5 are, I seriously dunno! but I know Heero and Duo are 1x2! usually! haha I MIGHT take a while updating, I'm a computer nerd a lot of the time, but I won't forget about this! Plus, I always read fanfics when my mom's home... Yes, sadly, I am grounded from the computer on school-days.


End file.
